Oooooooo I’m excited:  I’ve discovered a treasure in the subterranean sea of the blogosphere!

Last night (by the light of the moon) (over Miami), a Truth splashed into my brain and washed out (backstroke) through the waterlogged depths of my mind: (which is) (that) (just about) everything going on in my life right now involves something I cannot discuss in a public forum. A realization awash in pithiness (I know).

But seriously now (folks), to dive into deeply personal issues (happ’nings) in this (here) blog would be exposing too much, violating confidences, embarrassing someone, causing people to hate me, or humiliating myself. It turns out that not (a single) one of those options is acceptable to me. (Surprise!)

While (dang near) drowning in this flood of doubts, a solution so grand yet swimmingly simple floated to the surface in a soggy vision and that is nonsense! No really, I’m serious: Nonsense.

(YES) The (yet heretofore) submerged key to blog bliss is (utter) Nonsense. (Ta-Da!) And so (dear) saturated reader, here is my absurdly silly-soaked pearl of an offering for today which swimmingly proves the theory that we can still offend while remaining completely impersonal.  Remember this (!) because I’m telling you it could come in handy someday soon (when your ship comes in).